just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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