Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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