He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
