DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
