so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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