Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
