yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
