The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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