I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
