That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
