is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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