I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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