there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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