The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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