my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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