i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
