how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
