Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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