I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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