He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
