Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
