there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
