Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
