Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
