Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
