I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
