rhymes with "ouble enetration"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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