her vagine was all disorganized.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
