bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
