It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
