i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
