The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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