i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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