you win again, gameday.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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