He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I have aggressive nipples.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
