can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
