Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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