i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
