? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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