i think i have herpe
just one?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
