i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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