It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
