Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
