Me. At least after what I've been through.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize