come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
