Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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