Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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