We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
So vagazzling was a success
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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