have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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