suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
