whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
