Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
