Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
