But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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